2 years

Yeah, yeah, yeah... yet another long  hiatus from this little ol' blog. It's the same reason, really.  I've been busy, I rarely log onto my laptop, and typing a blog post from my phone is way too time consuming.  So, as much as I wish I could commit to blogging more often, lets face it.  It's not gonna happen.  :) So enjoy it when I do! Ha ha!

I'm still a little in awe that it's already been two years since I left Arizona.  I feel like I've come so far in those two years.  I really do feel as though I've grown so much personally.  I'm pretty proud of myself, to be honest.  It oddly simultaneously feels like I just got back not that long ago, and yet like I never left Washington to begin with.  I know, makes no sense to me either!

I'm living alone, which is wonderful!  It's been a long time since I've had my own little place.  It was a bit overwhelming furnishing it all.  I brought very little when I moved.  But ya know... it's all ME.  No compromise, and very little that is tied to my former married life. I get to make all the design decisions, watch what I want to watch on TV, and I get all the closet space all to myself!  Needless to say, I love it.  It was an expensive few months, but so very worth it!

I think the biggest thing for me is that I'm becoming comfortable doing things by myself.  Seems so silly, but there's certain things that I just couldn't ever bring myself to do by myself.  I'm now perfectly content to go to a movie alone, go out of town by myself, and go into a bar or restaurant and have a meal or a drink by myself.  I decided that I don't want to miss out on doing things I want to do, just because no one is able to go with me. 

I'm still navigating the dating world.  Punctuated with several breaks in between.  The southern gentleman and I started dating again.  We got along so well, and I really did enjoy spending time with him.  He even met all my family.  But... we really should have just remained friends  And so it ended again.  I've dated a couple other guys in the mean time.  Nothing really spectacular, or worth writing about, really.  Dating can be exhausting.

So, the past 6 months have been good.  Busy.  Very busy, but pretty darn good.  I moved, I took road trips to my uncle's in Eastern Washington, went to Ocean Shores twice, spent time with my amazing friends, and my even more amazing family.  I've gone to concerts, to a play, made plans for future trips, future concerts.  I'm watching as my nephews and niece grow up, and my pseudo niece (one of my girlfriend's daughters - she's 8 months old, and SO much fun!!!)

I don't want to paint an unrealistic picture that life is all puppies and roses and rainbows... I've had my struggles as well.  I started seeing a therapist.  While that's good, it brought out so many not so good things that I didn't really deal with during the divorce.  I typically maintain a good attitude about dating, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that it's a total blow to the ego at times.  I've gone through some difficult times with a couple of my closest friends.  One of which, I'm not entirely sure that we will ever get back to where we were before the hurtful things were said.  (unfortunately, I was on the receiving end of the hurtful things) So yeah, I've had difficult times as well.  But the thing is, I choose to focus on the good.  At the end of the day, I'd rather count my blessings than spend any more time or energy on the negative.  I have a lot to be thankful for. 

Because no blog post is complete without photos, here's a few from over the last 6 months. 

My "pseudo" niece.  Love baby feet!

I went to Deck the Hall Ball again.  This was the singer from Phoenix.  They were amazing!

I do love my city.  The market.

Co-hosted a baby shower for my uncle and aunt-to-be.  This was the diaper cake I made

Vineyards in Eastern Washington

Wine tasting with my family

I took my lil' nephew to see The Lion King musical. 

The bestie & I on a gorgeous night at Lincoln Park in West Seattle

Mr. Tango.  Love this pooch.

Love the feel of sand in my toes.  Sunny days mean even more trips to the beach.

Sunset at the lake with friends

Ocean Shores

Ocean Shores again

My little brudder, and his BFF/ex fiancée/my pseudo little sister

My silly niece.  She is so fun, and goofy, and such a sweetheart

My nephews and niece and the family dog, Dolly Rose.  My niece was a little over-zealous about the dog.  Haha!

Brothers. <3

Reflection

I've been back to WA for roughly a year & a half now.  I look back at photos from my time in AZ, to my first month or two back here, to now, and I'm amazed at the difference.  I was talking to my brother today, about how I feel Arizona was really not good for me.  And yet, I had convinced myself that I loved life there.  I convinced myself that it was a really good change.  Funny how you can do that. 

Looking back, it wasn't good for me.  At all.  I didn't realize how much I had lost myself until I got out of there.  I'm not saying it was all bad.  I met some amazing people.  Truly, life changing friendships.  People that even in my darkest time were there and taught me about myself and shared so much of themselves with me.  To say I'm thankful for them, is a vast understatement.  I did really enjoy my job.  It was frustrating, and challenging, but I loved it.  I welcomed the challenge.  But me?  Shawna?  I was lost.  I gave up so much of what made me ME.  I lost the desire to live life.  Not the desire to live - I wasn't that bad, but to get out and live life.  I kept myself somewhat busy, but overall, you know what I remember from my time there?  Watching a lot of tv.  Weekends spent at home, in pajamas.  That?  That's not me at all.  I know, it may seem insignificant, but it's not.  I think it was a symptom in a much bigger picture.  Now?  A typical week for me often involves happy hour with friends, spending the evening with the bestie, walks around Green Lake, going to a museum, catching a show at a hole-in-the wall venue.  DOING things.  Not just watching them on television.  I'm not suggesting that if you prefer to stay at home, that's a bad thing.  I just know that for ME, personally... it's a symptom of a much bigger issue.  I've never been a homebody.  I thrive on being busy, seeing friends and making memories.  My time in Arizona was far from that. 

Why is it that we can convince ourselves that things are great, while you're slowly dying inside.  I struggled a lot when I first moved there.  It was a big change for me.  But I got over it... or so I thought.

There really isn't a point to this, other than taking a moment to be so grateful for where I am today.  Emotionally, as well as physically.  I love being close to my family and my long time friends.  I love being active, and staying busy.  And I'm looking forward to what life brings my way!

Weekend Recap

Lookie here... twice. In one DAY!  Shocking, I know. 

Things with the southern gent are still going pretty well.  Last weekend, we decided to get out of town for the night.  Both of us were feeling stressed from work & felt like a little get-away would be good. 

Friday night, he met me at my house, and we headed up to La Conner.  La Conner is a super sleepy, quiet little town about 20 minutes from the town I grew up in.  We got a room at the Channel Lodge for the night.  Got in around 7, and headed down to the La Conner brewery  for some dinner & drinks.  Had a yummy meal, then meandered down the street to a little dive bar/pub, and hung out there for awhile before calling it a night, and heading back to the room.

The next morning, we got up pretty early, took advantage of the free continental breakfast, and decided to play tourist.  We headed to Anacortes, which is another quiet little tourist town.  We walked around the little shops & antique stores, got coffee, and had a great time. 

It was still pretty early, so we decided to go to my favorite place ever.  Deception Pass. I think I've mentioned my love for that place on more than one occasion.  There's a hiking trail right after you go past the bridge that takes you down to the water.  I wasn't sure what we would be doing Saturday, so I packed comfortable shoes... but lets be honest on what my version of comfortable shoes are.  In this case, it was my knee high wedge boots.  And we hiked down to the water.  It's not a strenuous our difficult hike by any means.  But it was kind of comical that I was rocking my boots when everyone was wearing sneakers or hiking boots. 

We spent a good hour or two just hanging out on the beach.  There was a seagull and a seal just hanging out together that was actually kind of entertaining to watch. 

After getting our fill of the cool air, we decided to mosey on back down to Lynnwood.  Stopped at my favorite Mexican restaurant, in Mount Vernon, and then settled in to watch the LSU/Alabama game at a sports bar down the street from my house. 

It was a good weekend.  I definitely enjoy spending time with him, and time seriously flies by when we are together.  I don't know what will happen with us, but we had a great couple days together.

  

Ocean Shores

Seems kind of funny to recap trips that happened this summer, when I'm currently curled up on the sofa, wearing a tank top, t shirt, hoodie, yoga pants, socks & under two blankets.  But... Maybe reliving some of the warm summer weather I enjoyed will help on this dreary day! :)

Back in June, three of my closest girlfriends and I decided to take a girls trip to the Washington coast.  Sara was pregnant, and this was kind of a last hurrah before she became a mommy, and travelling with the girls would be a bit more challenging.   We rented a cabin at the Collins Inn and Seaside Cottages.  It was the perfect mix of down time and quality time with my girls.  Ocean Shores is about 3 hours away from Seattle.  We all took a 1/2 day off work, and headed down that afternoon.  We checked in, and were extremely happy with our accommodations for the weekend.  I'd definitely recommend where we stayed.  It wasn't in the usual downtown, touristy area of Ocean Shores, which was actually quite nice.  The beach area we had access to was quiet, and pretty secluded.

That night, we decided to check out the casino.  We grabbed a bite to eat, listened to the cover band play, and played (and lost) some slot machines.  It was a pretty low key night, as we were all a little tired. 

The next day, we headed down to the main beach/shopping area.  It was the sand & sawdust festival there.  Purely a coincidence... definitely didn't plan the weekend around that, but it was fun.  Walked along the beach and then grabbed some lunch at a little hole-in-the-wall place (they really are always the best!)  and headed back to our cabin to nap and just relax.  We walked down to our beach, and spent a couple hours chatting, and enjoying the scenery before going back to the cabin to enjoy the yummy lasagna Heather made us.

The rest of the night was spent drinking wine, (sparkling water for Sara, of course) playing board games, and laughing so much.  Seriously hadn't laughed that hard in a long time!  The next morning, we went to breakfast, and then hit the road. 

I've got some amazing friends, and I love being able to spend time with them.  Such a great weekend!

A quick update.

Ah yes.  I am still alive.  Yet another long hiatus.  The truth is, I rarely log into my computer.  The joys of the smart phone.  I do everything from my phone, yet blogging from the touch screen isn't really feasible.  Well, it is, but not really how I want to spend my time.  And, let's be honest, free time is often at a premium, so it's not my first inclination to sit down in front of a computer.  Yet, I do enjoy going back and reading old blogs, so I try.  :) And I try to update the two of you that read this...

Life is good.  :) This summer was an absolutely incredible one.  I was sad to see it end, but I'm welcoming life slowing down a bit.  This summer was spent with friends and family, bbq's, Sunday Funday's on my brother's new boat, concerts, road trips to eastern WA, Ocean Shores, Wallowa lake (which I still need to post a quick recap on), and dating.  Yup.  That's right, dating. 

I remember when I was married, I'd hear stories from my girlfriends of their adventures in dating, and be equally glad that I was done with that part, and yet a little wistful, as new relationships are exciting.  Let me tell ya... dating?  Is exhausting.  I've taken many breaks from it, been discouraged, laughed at some of the crazies, but overall, I've enjoyed meeting new people.  So far, I've made a couple of really good friends out of it, but nothing long term yet.  I did recently started dating a new guy that definitely has potential.  I'm looking forward to seeing where things go with him.  He's from Louisiana, and has the cutest southern accent.  :) We've gone out a handful of times, and time flies by when we're together.  Our first date was one for the record books, and should likely count for a few due to the length, but I think that's a good thing.  I'm definitely enjoying getting to know this southern gentleman. 

Unfortunately, they haven't all gone as well.  Honestly, overall, I've met some really nice guys, and had nice times.  Just not amazing.  Though, there was the time I unknowingly went out with a wanted con man.  That's a good one... Or the time that I truly thought I was being punked, and on one of those date from hell hidden camera shows.  Ah, the dating adventures.  :)

Because I think all blog posts should have photos... here's a few of my favorites from this summer. 

Me, my Mama & the bestie

Heather & I threw a baby shower for Sara.

Missing this view on this cold, windy day

Love these boys beyond words. 

Austin is worn out from tubing

How many things can Phaedra hold at once? 

This face.  Kills me.  So damn cute.

The bestie and her lil man, Tango

Mama & I heading out to dinner.

Bumbershoot.  This was the Mowglis.  Amazing.

Seriously love Seattle

Watching a gorgeous sunset over the water was exactly what I needed that evening.

Mama & her bestie.  Love them both

My family.  This has been a crazy year.  I couldn't have made it without them.  Who knew my baby brudder & my mom would be two of my best friends in the world.  I am blessed.

 

;

A few trips around WA

I've taken a handful of little trips around Washington over the past several months.  These are just one or two nights, or maybe even just for the day.  A quick little get-away, so they don't really need recapping of the entire trip.  But I like to relive through a few words & photos.  And, of course, share with you all what a gorgeous area I'm fortunate to call home. 

I think I've mentioned before, but one of my brothers lives in Coeur d'Alene, ID, with my niece.  I try to get out there every so often to see them.  And to make sure my niece doesn't forget her auntie!  This is from our most recent trip there... I think it was in April. 

Little Miss Sitara.  Such a sweet little girl!  Love her so much!!
 

 



When I road trip with my Mama, we tend to stop several times throughout the drive there.  On this trip, I think we stopped at all the "scenic" views on the way over to Coeur d'Alene.  The little boy in the photo is one of my cousin's little guys, and he's with his uncle (obviously another cousin of mine)

 

Another trip we went on, was to the Tri Cities, in Eastern WA.  I have a couple uncles, and a bunch of cousins that live there, so we went to visit them.  The cousin that I'm closest to was pregnant, so we did a little family baby shower for her.  There was just a handful of us, but it was fun to get together with everyone, and I love planning a party! :)  It was a great weekend with my extended family.  We had a pic nic at a park on the Columbia River, drank yummy adult beverages at the fire pit in my uncle's back yard. celebrated the baby on the way, spent some time pool side, and had many laughs.  Always a good time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, this post is getting a little longer than I thought it would, so I'll do a separate one for Ocean Shores and Wallowa Lake.

 

Till next time,

 

;