Life Decisions

In my previous post, I mentioned that Hubs & I had made a major life decision in 2011.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little sad that we came to this conclusion.  However,  I am extremely confident when I say that I  do believe that this is the best choice for us.  For our family.  And really... that's what matters. 

Hubs & I will not be having children.  Only a few of my close friends know this.  I have always felt that if it were meant to be, it would be.  I knew that I would love to be a mother, however I also knew that I wasn't the type that felt as though my life wouldn't be complete without a child.  For the last 2 1/2 years, Hubs & I have not prevented a pregnancy.  We haven't been actively trying - as in charting, temping and all that.  But we haven't been preventing.  Again, I felt if it were meant to be - it would be. 

Earlier this fall, Hubs & I had a long discussion about it.  He and I talked about our future, our wishes, our dreams.  We talked about all the things we want to do, places we want to go, and the fact that we're not getting younger.  Hubs is 40.  I'm 35.  While I know that we're not exactly senior citizens, I also know that we're no spring chicken either.  Should I get pregnant right now... I'd be 36 when I delivered.  Hubs would be 41.  Which means, when Baby M graduated from high school, I'd be 54.  Hubs?  59.  That, as silly as it may be, played a major factor in the decision.

We like our life.  We like our flexibility.  We can sleep in if we want.  We can take random, last minute trips.  We can have date nights any time we want.  If we were to have a child, at this time, it'd come with it's own challenges, and some of the things that we enjoy in our life would be more difficult to do.  I know that many would say that the rewards of having children greatly outweigh any of that.  But again, this is the best choice for US. 

Hubs is an only child.  We've yet to break the news to his parents that they will not be grandparents.  I am sad for that.  I know how much they would love to have a grandchild to spoil.  But, again,  it's our choice.  And it's the best choice for us. 

I will be the best auntie possible to my nephews and my niece.  I will enjoy my time with them (though sadly it's not nearly as frequent as I wish, with the 1000 mile distance).  And I will happily hand them back to their parents at the end of a fun visit.  I will love my friend's children, and they'll be my surrogate nephews or nieces.  And again, I will happily hand them back to their parents, and enjoy my full nights sleep.  :)

It wasn't an easy decision to make.  But it was the right choice for us.